Fellowship

I am so thankful for people--more specifically for true fellowship. Tonight was one of those nights at youth group where everything went crazy beforehand, and just when I thought I had stabilized, the kids showed up and everything went beyond crazy. It wasn't the greatest night. I lost my patience. I lacked love. I found myself unable to see the kids the way God sees them. If I had come home to an empty apartment, I know just what would have happened: I would have put on my mix CD with songs for hurting and healing, turned off the lights and curled up on the couch with my face pressed against it and cried--probably until I fell asleep clinging to the back of the couch.

My melancholy plans for the evening were thwarted by my friend Jessica's simple request at the end of youth group, "Can I come over afterward and pray?" Ah, what an idea! Of course, my tear-stained evening would have included prayers, but they would have been the borderline accusatory prayers that come when I'm exhausted and at the end of my rope, uncertain what to do and feeling all alone. Instead, Jessica came over and we debriefed for a couple hours, and then just prayed (along with my roommate Nikki, who had come home by then). There was something so beautiful about our fellowship tonight. Sharing frustrations, heartache, disallusionment, hopes, goals, insights, and then in the end coming humbly before God confessing our inadequacies and entrusting to him the hearts of the students we serve. Now I have peace. I don't feel great, or enlightened, just at peace.

And I am so thankful for the godly women whose friendships have enriched my life and whose hearts have both inspired and challenged me. God has been so good to bless me with wonderful friends.