Sometimes I wish I didn't have emotions. I like to pretend that Im in control of myself and my world and for some reason, emotions sometimes seem beyond that control. The last couple weeks I have been very emotional...but not for any particular reason. Sometimes it's a small twinge of compassion. But other times it's much stronger.
One night recently I could not get to sleep for several hours. I was laying in bed and I was praying for everyone I could think to pray for: my family, my friends, my church, each of the students in the youth group. As I was praying, I became overwhelmed by the amount of pain and hurt in this world, and my heart ached for those I knew who were experiencing deep trials and pain. Suddenly, I was imagining the masses of the world and seeing all the suffering and hurting and my heart just broke. I trust in Jesus to comfort me through my pain--but so many people have not experienced the peace and hope and joy found only in a relationship with Jesus. I longed for them to know him. I found myself weeping for these souls of humanity--each one individually unique and precious, each one with their own story of love and life and pain. It was perhaps the closest I've ever come to seeing the world the way Jesus sees them.
In Matthew 9, Jesus looks at the crowds of people following him and he has compassion on them. He compares them to helpless sheep, wandering around aimless and shepherdless, not realizing that the Good Shepherd longs to lead them to green pastures if they would only FOLLOW HIM. Jesus realizes that the people are ripe for the message and he asks his disciples to pray for willing workers to go out to the people. And a few verses later, he sends them!
I want to be a willing worker, too! I want people to experience the fulfillment of a relationship with Jesus. So, I'm praying for boldness to tell them. But that's scary for me, because I know it's an unpopular thing to do. Today on the radio a local talk show host was talking about how he was a Christian who believed the Bible but that he did NOT believe in pushing his faith on others. He stated that he was anti-proselytization.
This seems to be a fairly common stance. People say, "I'm glad what you believe works for you, but you have no right to try to convince anyone else of what you believe. That is so arrogant of you." Is it? Is it arrogance that compels me to share with others? I remember a quote purportedly from an article written by an atheist who said:
"If I firmly believed, as millions say they do, that the knowledge and practice of religion in this life influence destiny in another life, then religion would mean to me everything. I would cast away earthly enjoyments as dross, earthly cares as folly, and earthly thoughts and feelings as vanity. God would be my first waking thought and my last image before falling asleep. I would labor in his cause alone. I would hardly stop thinking of my future eternity. I would regard the saving of one soul worth a life of suffering; earthly consequences would never prevent me from acting or speaking out to accomplish this. The griefs of life would occupy hardly a moment of my thoughts. I would go forth to the world and preach this message in season and out of season, and my scripture text would be: What does it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul? All of this would overwhelmingly preoccupy me--that is, if I believed!"*
If I truly believe what I claim to believe, how can I not tell others? It's not arrogance to do so--its callous indifference not to do so. That doesn't mean that I don't respect other people's freedom to choose. If God grants us freedom to accept or reject him, I certainly am not going to try to trick or cajole anyone into a relationship with him. Just the other week I was talking with two eighth grade boys who had gone through their fair share of hard times. I asked one of them if he knew about Jesus and he told me, "Oh yes. I've heard all I want to about Jesus. I'm sick of it. I hear it all the time and I dont want to talk about it any more." Ouch. That made me sad. I was sad for him. But I respected his wishes; I didnt press the matter. I prayed that his heart would be changed, because I'm convinced that ultimately lasting happiness for him can only be found in Jesus.
Individuals all around the world are hurting. I can't help feeling emotional about it. I want to make sure that those in my life have the opportunity to choose to turn to Jesus. Whether they do or not--that's between them and him.
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* I've tried to research who wrote this article, but the information is fairly cyclical. Ultimately, I was unable to determine the original atheist author. It is thus possible that it was actually penned by the first person to "quote" it. Although that's not as cool of a story, it doesn't make the quote any less convicting. The text I have included was compiled from two sources: (1) Rev. John H. Hampsch, C.M.F., Coping with Lifes Dark Moments, (Queenship Publishing: Goleta, CA, 1998). (2) K.P. Yohannan, Revolution in World Missions, (Carrolton, TX: GFA Books, 1986-2004) p. 95-96.
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