Babies

I like babies.

I didn't use to be a baby-lover. I mean, I loved babies that I was attached too and the other ones were fun to look at and everthing, but I wasn't a member of the Baby-Holding Crazies Club whose members walk around begging to hold the babies. But suddenly I find that holding a baby clears my mind and cheers me up--it even makes me feel more hopeful about the future.

Today I was having a difficult conversation with someone and I could feel my temperature and heartrate rising. I was starting to get that sense of doom that's been a frequent visitor to the pit of my stomach recently. A little way into the conversation, I asked if I could hold my friend's baby (who had been in his carrier) and was told, "Sure!" As soon as I cuddled that little guy to my chest I felt more relaxed. I talked to him and tickled his chin and this adorable grin erupted onto his face, sending a thrill of joy into my heart.

I guess I can expect that membership card in the mail any day now. :-)

So what changed? I'm not entirely sure, but here's my best guess. Adult life is sticky and messy and challenging and frustrating and confusing and painful. Childhood can be that way too, because you're at the mercy of the adults in your life. Even though I'm an adult, I still often feel at the mercies of other adults. Plus I have to admit that I do a pretty good job of screwing things up myself. So I may be hurt by my own bad choices or by those of people around me, but I am not injured by babies.

Oh sure, babies may cry or even leak through their diapers onto my lap but there is no malice in their hearts. I don't have to try to figure out a baby's agenda or read past the lines to determine its hidden motives. Now I might not always understand what is motivating a baby's cry, but that's my fault; it certainly isn't because the infant is being deceptive or playing games with my heart or my mind. Babies are simple and as straight-forward as they can be without the ability to speak. They enjoy the simple things of life: listening to the voice of someone they love, having their hunger and thirst satisfied, being warm and comfortable, getting lots of rest and being held. It's very refreshing, really.

So, I think that is why my heart and mind experience rest in the presence of a baby. I'd write a little bit more about how God calls us to "become like little children," but I think instead I will go eat some dinner, spend time with some people I love and maybe, just maybe...take a nap.