Tales From the Retreat

Tears flooded my eyes as the van crammed with students pulled away from the church after youth group. The next day we would be leaving for our Fall Retreat themed "Walk With the Family of God." I was hoping and praying that the students would experience loving fellowship with one another over the weekend and that they would be encouraged to always be plugged into a group of believers. Suddenly, however, I feared the weekend would be a huge flop. Earlier that night two girls had argued heatedly and although I sat down with them to try to help them work it out, they didn't seem interested in reconciling. I verbalized my fears to my brother: "Eric, what was I thinking? There's no way that these kids are going to be able to be kind and loving and encouraging to each other this weekend! They're going to be mean and rude and hateful just like last year, and then instead of being drawn to fellowship with other believers they're going to be turned off to it!." Eric listened patiently while I unloaded and then we prayed together telling the Lord our concerns and begging for his help for the weekend. Afterward I felt less emotional, although I still had a knot of dread in the pit of my stomach thinking about the coming weekend. I spent a lot of time that night and the next morning asking God for wisdom to know how to deal with the situations that would inevitably arise on the trip.

The next night right before leaving for the beach, I sat all the kids down and explained to them our theme and our hopes for the weekend. "If you feel that you won't be kind and encouraging this weekend, let us know now and we will take you home on our way out of town," I warned them, "I don't want to let one or two bad attitudes ruin the weekend for the group. That being said...I'm sure that all of you are able to show one another God's love this week--it'll be great!" And amazingly, it WAS....at least for the first day.

Our first night there we took the kids on a trust walk and I was very impressed with the way that the students demonstrated patience and concern for one another as we led them blindfolded through a simple obstacle course. When a girl fell down the students on either side of her would help her up. Afterward the students did a great job of connecting our activity with the lesson: "We Need the Family of God" as we walk though life following Jesus, our guide.

It seemed like the kids were getting along really well that night and the next morning. Our morning lesson ("The Body of Christ Needs You") was illustrated by the Triminator Quest--an activity where groups of three students were given a list of simple tasks (put on and tie your shoelaces, make a PB&J sandwich and eat it, etc.) to complete together. The catch? Only one person could speak--and the speaker couldn't use their hands to complete any of the tasks. Each of the other two could use one of their arms (one right, one left) but could not speak during the quest. Afterward we talked about how the teams suffered if someone refused to do their part, or how sometimes some people felt like their ability wasn't as important as someone else's but they needed all three to complete the Quest. It was fun and led perfectly into our discussion of 1 Corinthians 12.

Saturday afternoon we headed out to the beach for Beach Olympics where the teams competed in silly events: backward sprint, steamroll race, logput, etc. Although the forecast had predicted rain, God graciously gave us beautiful blue sky and very warm November weather. During free time five girls got into an argument, but after working with them for about 45 minutes they seemed to work things out, which was such an encouragement to me!

That evening we talked about how the early church remembered Jesus together as they ate in one another's homes, and then we had a communion dinner. Before dinner we thanked Jesus for coming to earth and taking a human body and we thanked him for dying for us so that his blood pays what we owe to God for our sin. During dinner we made sure that we were showing loving concern for one another by following two simple rules: (1) no one was allowed to dish up food for themselves, and (2) no one was allowed to ask for anything. Instead we all had to keep our eyes open to the needs of the people around us to make sure that everyone got what they needed and no one went hungry. True, some of the kids found ways to get around the rules (once you ask five people who already have salad dressing if they want any ranch, usually somone picks up on the clue and will offer it to you in turn!), but afterward they decided that if everyone always looked out for one another selflessly, then everyone would be cared for.

So far, pretty good, right? Right. Well... to tell you the full story of what went on later Saturday night would take up far more time than I have to write this blog and certainly far more time than you have to read it (I thank you if you are still reading at this point!). Suffice it to say, I almost took home 7 girls at midnight because of the outrageous disrespect they showed by their disobedient actions followed by a tangled web of lies that I spent the next 10 hours sorting out (minus the three-and-a-half hours I actually slept). Ten revisions of their original story later, I felt I had a good enough understanding of what happened to punish the three girls who had told the most lies and who had been involved in an attempted cell-phone theft. We sent them directly home with the luggage Sunday morning instead of letting them stop at the Tillamook Cheese Factory for ice cream as the rest of the group did. Now the whole story is very complicated and insanely crazy--if you ever care to hear it you'll have to call me and I'll share it with you. What I would like to say, however, is that the entire time I had no clue what to do. Every moment, with every sentence spoken to the girls I was praying for wisdom from God--and I let the girls know! Although at the beginning I couldn't have told you what we should do, I look back at how it was handled and see how God led us step by step through the whole process and I honestly don't think there is a single thing we should have done differently. God's word is proven true where it says in James "If any of you lacks wisdom he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." What a faith-builder this weekend was for me as I watched God amazingly lead me through a minefield of lies and deception, to a place of love and truth! God is so good!

This was hands-down the most difficult retreat I have ever been a part of. Since last weekend I've been wondering if retreats are actually an effective tool for urban ministry--perhaps they worked very well for ministry to suburbanites, but my retreats with urban kids have so far proved fairly disastrous. I came home physically and emotionally exhausted, yet spiritually strengthened because of having to rely on God. Ultimately, I'm not sure whether we were successful in our goal of experientially teaching the kids the beauty of being linked with the family of God. However, I am sure that some of them learned something new about God's patience and love as we went through the discipline process with them. It seemed ugly at the time, but in the morning as we tossed a ball of yarn around and shared things we appreciated, it became apparent that they had sensed God's love through it all. And for that, I'm extremely thankful! The weekend is done; the seeds are planted; it's up to God whether or not those seeds one day produce a harvest of fruit in the students' lives.